On Getting Fired
Getting fired - being let go - it's an awful feeling. It takes us back to childhood when we are the last one picked for the team; or when she said no to the dance or he told his friend to tell your friend that you're not "his type".
You beat yourself up over it. It eats at you. What happened? What could you have done better? Resentment builds, anger slow burns. It's the worst energy living inside you for an unhealthy amount of time.
Whether we want to admit it (we seldom do), there are many times when the dismissal was regrettably...understood. You lost your fire or drive to continue to put the hours into what the position demanded; you decided to phone it in and rest on past laurels; or you let more deserving colleagues do your work and you got caught.
Sometimes it is the roll of the dice - positions eliminated, companies moving headquarters; territories changing based on changing business needs; corporate downsizing.
There is one, though, that we seldom talk about. The unwarranted expulsion.
This one is catastrophe. And it is entirely to blame on the employer. Firing is not always the one-way street we think it is. The employer interviewed a pool of candidates, which included you. There was a process of discussion before the offer, references were called, internal dialogue was had; once the position was offered, there might have been negotiation or deliberation on your part - deeper, more intimate questions regarding the role and expectations raised - and you accepted.
Up until this point it was a two-way street. So now you are here - in the position. A cacophony of things could happen - training was half-hearted or non-existent; the role was never truly discussed so you created your own path; internal expectations that were never shared with you are too ambitious or the timeline to achieve them virtually impossible - all things you would have shared and delivered alternative strategies to go after IF you had been aware of them.
Perhaps you were a test; or a hire to get their co-founder or CEO off their backs - they never thought this position was needed but they hired you anyway - to prove a point that they were right. You're a scapegoat.
Possibly you showing up in the first few weeks, uncovering issues and bringing opportunity to the table, feels like a risk for your new boss - you're better than anticipated, and it's unsettling.
It's shitty, all these scenarios. Most of the time, you are blindsided when this happens - it's been less than three months and things are already making some headway when you get a phone call you didn't expect - or the dreaded meeting request at 5pm on a Friday.
If this happens - know this: This is not your fault. This is not you. This does not define you. This was out of your hands and unethical. They should be fired for how they dealt with whatever background was happening that never involved you in the first place. They are stupid to lose you. Because you are amazing.
Be upset. Be furious. Take a weekend or a week and feel all the feels. But after that week - you need to get back up. You need to get back out there. Because you are not going to let this define you. You know who you are. You know what you can do. Go find the competitor, be brilliant, and step right over this.
You are always better than this.
